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Post by random on May 24, 2009 1:00:28 GMT -5
The Grizzly Bear races towards the group of #600-#986 David Starnes before turning on a dime and leaping at Garrick Coleman in fear.
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Post by Blindsided on May 24, 2009 1:03:14 GMT -5
Garrick catches the bear
Garrick Coleman: My bad Barnalby, I forgots you scared of clones.
Garrick opens the cage door and lets Barnalby back into his cage
Meanwhile in the backyard, Erick and Derrick are lowering a tranquilized alligator into the pool in hopes that it will eat Dougey Henderson during his morning "swim".
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Post by Fallindown on May 24, 2009 1:18:46 GMT -5
While Shannon Floyd is trying to wrench the blade out of the Woman's hand in his room, he sees the bear run by with a Starnes head in its mouth.
[glow=white,2,300]Shannon Floyd:[/glow] The fuck?
Floyd follows the bear to the backroom, where he watches it as it playfully rolls the head around like it's a ball.
[glow=white,2,300]Shannon Floyd:[/glow] Awwww......
Suddenly, Chris Williams' massive hand rips through the wall and crushes the bear's torso like a grape.
[glow=white,2,300]Shannon Floyd:[/glow] SHITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Floyd rushes back to his own room and shoves Stephanie (That's her name now) aside to get to his guitar case with the rainbow laser-cane inside. Meanwhile, the rest of the fighters and Coleman go to the back room and look up at Williams as he devours the bear in the backyard. After he's finished, he unslings an assault rifle from his shoulder and sprays the inside of the room with bullets. Everyone scatters as Williams kicks down the rest of the wall to get inside.
Suddenly, five Starnes clones leap onto Williams from the roof. Clambering all over him while he flails around, they stab him all over his body with their hunting knives. Williams shoots everywhere in an effort to get them off; in the process, he blasts a hole in the attic large enough for Turner Brown to fall down to the first floor.
[glow=silver,2,300]Turner Brown:[/glow] Let me out, I can help!
A Starnes clone cuts him loose from his extension-cord handcuffs. Getting to his feet, he utilizes his all-terrain acrobatics to evade Williams' bullets and get outside. By that time, Williams had shaken most of the Starnes' off, but Brown uses his mechanical utility belt to create an Issac Harris hologram to draw his attention away from the house.
As Williams shoots aimlessly into the forest, Shannon Floyd comes out of the house and blasts the back of his skull with a rainbow-laser. Williams staggers, and another blast drops him to the ground for good.
[glow=white,2,300]Shannon Floyd:[/glow] I need some extension cord! Pronto! This bitch is goin' in the attic!
Bunanananana!
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Post by random on May 25, 2009 9:21:42 GMT -5
The headless Starnes (#863) races forwards with a length of extension cord in any attempt to help Floyd detain the escapee.
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Post by Fallindown on May 25, 2009 20:31:09 GMT -5
MacDonald is saddened by his lose, but his spirit's pick up when he finds a drunken naked lady stuffed in his pizza box fort.
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Post by Blindsided on May 26, 2009 9:11:21 GMT -5
Jacory opens up the shed to find approximately 1000 David Starnes' clones crammed into it
Jacory Wilcox: Uhhhh......
Jacory quickly closes and locks the shed door
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Post by random on May 27, 2009 9:42:50 GMT -5
David Starnes #13 comes racing into the living room looking terrified. He begins pointing frantically around the room trying to get everyone attention. When no one gives the slightest sign of wanting to listen he begins to shout at the contestants.
David Starnes #13: Fine! Let the zombie mes eat you all. I'm getting the hell out here.
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Post by Fallindown on May 31, 2009 18:51:15 GMT -5
As the days go by, many of the fighters succumb to horrific hallucinations and are unable to think without their thoughts being heard out loud. Stephanie's been in a coma for a week.
The scariest part of all this is that El Blazer's leftover stash was used up months ago.
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Post by Tystick357 on Jun 6, 2009 11:45:30 GMT -5
((This is why I always thought after the first round or so the show should just move pretty damn quick. RP is fun but it gets old just being in the house after the first few weeks.))
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Post by Fallindown on Jun 23, 2009 21:04:32 GMT -5
In the haze of night, a metallic claw slashes open the locks on the TIF doors. Don Martin, sporting a fedora hat and a black-striped suit, creeps into the living room. He knows where he needs to go, just not how to get there.
Martin hisses under his breath. He knows the longer he's there the more likely he'll be caught, and anticipates that this will be a frustrating night. But as soon as he thinks that, the basement door manifests itself in front of him and he finds himself slinking down the staircase.
This part requires the most patience, but Martin already feels relieved in the thought that this job is easier than he had expected. As he rummages through the clutter on the floor in the pitch-black room, he keeps his ears focused on the activity in the upper stories. He hears not a sound, but knows that the whole house could be on him in an instant if he is heard.
Suddenly, he finds it: A rusty, blood-stained ax, tossed aside after Red Hunt had gotten through with the Hauser siblings. Martin briefly ponders on how the blood on the ax still seems fresh before twin beams of light erupt from the eyes of the stranger standing behind him. Martin doesn't even have time to turn around as reality begins to tear apart in front of his very eyes.
..............................
We cut scene to the Bowelship parked out in TIF Woods. The remaining Fuckmen have set up camp outside the ship. As they sit around and listen to Leonard Hauser tell them stories about when he was a kid, Don Martin suddenly appears at the firelight's edge with the rusty ax. Everyone turns toward him and Hauser takes notice.
[glow=red,2,300]Leonard Hauser:[/glow] Ah, success!
Hauser nods as Martin drops the ax into his lap.
[glow=silver,2,300]Don Martin:[/glow] It didn't take as long as I thought it would....
[glow=red,2,300]Leonard Hauser:[/glow] Now, utilizing my Bowel Computer, I can test for Red Hunt's DNA on this ax and track him anywhere in America! Muhahahahahaha!
The Fuckmen rejoice by eating some mutton. Gorga Gonzalo also chews on some dead guy he found in the bog. Martin ignores them all and just goes back into the ship, where he finds Kerwyn Newell standing at the controls. Newell briefly looks back to address him.
Kerwyn Newell: This is one wet, shit-smelling place to camp out for a night, eh?
Martin nods, and Newell turns around again. Martin, whipping his prosthetic limb up to the ceiling in one smooth motion, quickly tears a phallic lighting-fixture out from the wall. He slams the thing right into the back of Newell's head, propelling his face straight into the controls and then to the floor. Then, with the push of a button, he sealls the wheelchair door to the Bowelship.
[glow=red,2,300]Leonard Hauser:[/glow] Yo', what the fuck!
The jets on the ship roar and begin to spit fire. Everyone in the camp scatters and screams.
[glow=red,2,300]Leonard Hauser:[/glow] Loki, do something!
[glow=hotpink,2,300]Loki Davis:[/glow] I can't, my jet-pack's on board!
By the time he finishes his sentence, the Bowelship is already just a dot in the sky. The remaining Fuckmen wander around and try to figure out what to do.
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