Post by Fallindown on Aug 5, 2009 22:04:24 GMT -5
My dad's been pretty pissed off lately because some guy has been letting his dog shit on our lawn, and he sometimes doesn't pick it up. Unfortunately, my dad's initial solution to this problem was to yell at the guy rather than be polite. The passive-aggressive types definitely don't take to being yelled at, so now the guy keeps coming back and only picks up if somebody's watching. My dad had to make the next move, of course, so he decided to let our dog shit on his lawn. At this point, I think it's time that I step in and throw a wrench into this little pissing contest.
My first idea is to wait on our sidewalk with an ax and wave at the douche when he turns the corner. If he keeps coming, that's when I raise the ax above my head, let out a blood-curtling scream, and charge him. He may think I'm bluffing at first, but he'll probably realize I'm not kidding eventually. The only problem with this plan is that if he doesn't manage to get away, the police might not think all of those other deaths that I was involved with in the past were really accidents.
My next idea is to put a motely of shit on our lawn so the dog and his douche will be leery about coming back to our block. Some things I'm thinking of are:
1. Thumbtacks
2. Landminds (This one is good because they cost three dollars to make and last indefinitely. Plus, the dog will have the privilege of dying while taking a shit )
3. Rat poison wrapped in bacon strips
4. Heroin (This one is possibly counter-productive)
I'd like some more suggestions, if anybody would like to contribute. But please don't tell me to go the police for this guy; it's not as fun as doing physical harm to him or his dog.
My first idea is to wait on our sidewalk with an ax and wave at the douche when he turns the corner. If he keeps coming, that's when I raise the ax above my head, let out a blood-curtling scream, and charge him. He may think I'm bluffing at first, but he'll probably realize I'm not kidding eventually. The only problem with this plan is that if he doesn't manage to get away, the police might not think all of those other deaths that I was involved with in the past were really accidents.
My next idea is to put a motely of shit on our lawn so the dog and his douche will be leery about coming back to our block. Some things I'm thinking of are:
1. Thumbtacks
2. Landminds (This one is good because they cost three dollars to make and last indefinitely. Plus, the dog will have the privilege of dying while taking a shit )
3. Rat poison wrapped in bacon strips
4. Heroin (This one is possibly counter-productive)
I'd like some more suggestions, if anybody would like to contribute. But please don't tell me to go the police for this guy; it's not as fun as doing physical harm to him or his dog.
