Post by Brice on Nov 7, 2008 7:08:44 GMT -5
Welcome everyone to the first edition of IMMAF Weekly. This will be a quick wrap up of the weeks events, comment from fighters, and rumors from around the league. Since I don't feel like doing too much work today, I decided to do a slighty funny, but truthful edition to kick it off. The format will me close to something of those cunty "rag mags". If you have a problem with anything typed, talk to my editor, Cunty McShitdick. Enjoy
Story One:
SOMEONE HEARD KIYOSHI TALK!
According to the IMMAF Weekly insiders, an anonymous tip given by a fighter that lives in the house of The International Fighter 6. The unnamed fight said that he heard Kiyoshi mumble a word that started and faintly sounded like a word with an "M". We can't be 100% sure, but insiders of the IMMAF have determined that he actually said, "Motherfucking shit heads on team Williams will pay for defeating my friends and it will be a cold day in hell before I lose!" Or something along those lines. Kiyoshi was reached for comment and only had this to say:
Kiyoshi: .....................
We'll keep you updated.
Story two:
Sex Reaches the House
A couple weeks ago, IMMAF camera caught Leonard Hauser, a mustachioed man, luring Tank Kaman into the bathroom with false hopes of candy dreams. Instead, he received an ass raping nightmare. Tank, a large black fellow, was lucky that his team had first pick and that he didn't have to fight because sources are telling IMMAF Weekly that his insides would have fallen out of his butthole. Leonard Hauser was reached for comment, but unfortunately all we heard on the other end of the phone was "MUSTACHE RIDES MUSTACHE RIDES MUSTACHE RIDES" before we hung up.
Tank was initially sat down for an interview with our own reporter, Fatty McButterpants, but twelve seconds into speaking he left the room crying. While exiting, we noticed that Kaman had a red blotch on the back of his fighting trunks. We can't be sure, but IMMAF Weekly insiders reported it as anal blood. Hopefully there will be little to no mustache rides for Tank in the future.
Story Three:
Armour in Drag?
Welter Weight Champion Mitch Armour was seen posing for Play Girl Magazine after training. Although Mitch is a straight man, you wonder why he needed the money. Could it be that the addition to is Chaos Crew Gym cost to much money in the struggling economy?...Could he enjoy the work? No...sources inside the IMMAF Weekly offices say that Mitch is paying off a bet to Chris Cameron. If Cameron lost, his consolation prize was that Mitch had to pose for Play Girl Magazine. Mitch honored the bet and paid up like a man.
Side Story:
Team Williams: Undefeated
Although it was the first fight, Team Williams embarrassed Team Stern in a fight where Lorenzo Guerini destroyed the 6 foot 10 inch Aussie, William Keczkemethy with a Key Lock in only forty-three seconds. Keczkemethy looked like fully retarded eight year old and let Team Stern down. We caught up with Joseph Williams after the fight:
Joseph Williams: Atta boy Guerini, I knew you wouldn't disappoint.
All of Guerini's teammates were supportive and excited to get the win. We also heard from Lorenzo after the fight.
Lorenzo Guerini: It feels good to be active again, it had been a long time.
William Keczkemethy couldn't be reached for comment because he put on his downs-helmet the wrong way and tripped over his fat tounge. However, a disappointed and pissed off Keith Stern commented.
Keith Stern: Well, I definitely wasn't happy with the outcome of this fight. Really? I don't think Will tried his best, but he should get back up and try again when there's a chance. Even though it won't be on this show, good luck to him in his future. As for the rest of my team, double bags his week!
One thing is for sure...William Keczkemethy is a piece of shit.
Brice Conrad Interview
Fatty McButterpants: Thank you for joining us today, Brice. How are you feeling after your last fight?
Brice Conrad: Good.
Fatty McButterpants: Awesome! Thanks for joining me!
**End of interview**
